If you have come to this website, I suppose you already feel that something is bothering YOU that you may want help. There is something you either do not want such as feelings of anxiousness, sadness, or loneliness, or there is something that you do want but do not have such as a new career, better communication with your loved ones or at work, or a good relationship. If this is true and you have a desire to change these feelings, you may be ready for therapy.
What I do in therapy is to help you define goals and reach those goals. This is accomplished by helping you understand what is going on and why it is going on then help you change to support that goal. The change I am speaking about is your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, choices, and actions that make up YOU. You cannot change others, but you can change YOU.
We can and will talk about others that are in your relationship but will work on you and what is going on in order to help you change and feel better. Sometimes we just need a little help in order to have a better and more fulfilling life.
I work with couples on communication skills, setting of boundaries, asking for and getting what they need before a crisis occurs, and making choices that will help their relationship rather than undermine it.
It is important that each partner understand how he/she became who they are, which is within their own family-of-origin. Based on this understanding, it is easier to see why a person behaves the way they do since it often is how they grew up and this is how they behave. Sometimes, how a person grows up can present problems for them later in life.
Realizing how imperfect our families are may be difficult or terrifying, but it also can help by not repeating the same mistakes. By being aware of your own family-of-origin behaviors and dealing with them in a compassionate way, you can work through a situation rather than having an argument or a tug-of-war.
This can help promote better communication and understanding within a family. Perhaps a divorce or death in the family is causing stress and turmoil or maybe it is substance abuse with one specific member that is causing the whole family strife. Family counseling may be a better way to deal with the stress and help the whole family instead of just one person. After all, if one person within the family is feeling bad, the whole family is probably feeling bad!
The goal of the therapist is to get the family communicating again in a positive manner. This is done by the therapist asking how disagreements are solved, asking who holds the power in the family, watching the interactions between family members, and pointing out things that may be undermining or preventing good communication.
Family Therapy often teaches members to replace outdated communication that is not working for the family with positive communication that will build better relationships with the ones we love.